7 Days Before Embarkation - Working for the Weekend

These weekend work bees are getting to be a bit tedious.

It's a never ending cycle of clean / sort and clip.
Clean / sort office. Clean / sort house. Clean / sort goat pen.

Trim goat hooves. Clip dog claws. Paint my toe nails.

But this is the last work weekend for a while! In just one week we will be aboard ms Ryndam, sipping champagne and waving bye-bye at Canada Place.

We're heading to Vancouver a few days early on business. We are staying at my BFF's one bedroom apartment - on an air bed on the living room.

I only mention this sleeping arrangement to dispel rumours that may be circulating which suggest yours truly is a princess. I can rough it if I have to. I simply prefer not to. Some of you will be pleased to know I have to do some work on the ship.

I'm not swabbing the deck or doing dishes, but I still have to write my October editorial for North of 50° Magazine. The fact that I will be doing it in the lap of luxury doesn't make it any less work – honest.

8 Days Before Embarkation – Mending Fences

I was awakened this morning by the knock-knock-knock of a diesel engine at the top of the driveway. Oh, what a glorious sound.

That, my friend, is the sound of progress. It's a ship moving forward to ports-of-call far into the distance.

Or, in this case, it was Steve, the fencer, firing up the back hoe to prepare the land for fence posts. By the time we return home from vacation, the new 2 acre pasture will almost be complete.

While Steve cleared brush, Dean and I cleared paper. We went to the office today to finish rearranging desks and files, as well as tossing (shredding) 10 year old bank statements and other documents that had been taking up much needed storage space.

We returned home just in time to say good-bye to Steve who was going home for supper.

“Met your neighbour, today,” he drawled.

Our neighbour has complained – understandably - about our new dog's incessant barking when we aren't home.

“Not that neighbour,” Steve said.

“Another neighbour complained about the dog?” I was aghast. If this carried on, we'd be run off the acreage.

“Nope,” he said. “You know how we said your lot seems bigger than 5 acres? Well, that's because this here ain't your property.”

Oops. Seems we had the peg at the top of the lot figured correctly, but we were about 30 feet out on the bottom, helping ourselves to a healthy swath of the neighbour's land. Thankfully, we learned this before Steve actually started pounding posts down the hill, else we might be trying to mend fences instead of building them.

9 Days Before Embarkation - The Truth Will Set Me Free

Today I spent two and a half hours in the salon chair, getting cut, foiled and waxed. I waited to the last possible minute to get a new coif; I am hoping to avoid touching up my roots while on the cruise, lest the truth come out.

On the other hand, the truth will set me free. I confess. These chestnut brown locks with striking beechnut blonde highlights are as unnatural as a fake and bake tan, long lasting lipstick and control top pantyhose – all of which I plan to take with me.

I'm still adjusting to this aging thing. I'm not ready to give up hair dye. My hair is not salt and pepper; it is 100 percent gray – not that I've ever seen myself with a head full of gray and I will happily wait until well after the cruise to deal with that trauma.

Today is my daughter's 33rd birthday, which was traumatic enough. To give up hair dye, too? That might push me over the edge.

11 Days to Embarkation - UNESCO World Heritage Sites

As I research shore excursions, one phrase keeps popping up – UNESCO World Heritage Site. Obviously, it is something important, but what exactly is it? My inquiring mind wants to know.

UNESCO stands for The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization. A heritage site is a place anywhere in the world deemed of cultural or physical significance by UNESCO. It could be a forest, a building, a town, a body of water, a monument or a natural geological formation. “The program catalogues, names and conserves sites of outstanding cultural or natural importance to the common heritage of humanity.” That's s direct quote from Wikipedia, so it must be true.

There are 911 properties on the list of World Heritage Sites and more are added yearly.

Could I get to all of them before I die? Probably not, but I could die trying. On this cruise, I can tick a few off the list.

I could zip across a UNESCO protected biosphere near Cabo San Lucas

During our stop in Acapulco, I could visit Xochicalco, a UNESCO World Heritage site, founed circa AD 650 by the Olmeca-Xicallanca, a group of Mayan traders from Campeche.

Antigua Guatemala, our fourth stop, is a UNESCO World Heritage site. It was largely destroyed by an earthquake in 1773 but its monuments are still preserved as ruins.

The historic area and inner harbour of Willemstad on the Caribbean island of Curacao, where we stop on October 5th, is a World Heritage site, too.

Four down, 907 to go. I better hurry if I plan to visit them all.

BTW, there are 15 World Heritage sites in Canada

12 Days Before Embarkation - Reader recommendations?

The long weekend didn't feel like a long weekend. Between moving desks, re-networking computers, steam cleaning the floors, picking up doggie doo doo, changing out kitty litter and raking the goat pen, the three days of Labour Day weekend quickly sailed by.

I really need a vacation!

I may have mentioned it a time or two - that I was going to take one. In 12 days.

But I can't get on that ship without the electronic documents that Holland America emailed me a few weeks back. They are called E-Docs and they need to be filled in on-line (to satisfy US Homeland Security). So I filled in the requested information, printed the paperwork and put it in a waterproof Ziploc bag for safe keeping, because trust me, I am getting on that ship, come hell or high water, preferably the latter.

For about the fiftieth time this month I reviewed the shore excursion page on Holland America's website, making a note of my favourites, but failing to book any. I can't help but think: what if something better presents itself after I've committed? That explains why I didn't get married until I was almost 40.

When I travel, I want to do something completely different from what I can do at home. That's why we went swimming with the sharks when we went to Hawaii a couple of years ago.

I want to see something that I can't see at home. Maybe I will visit some Mayan ruins or do a jungle canopy tour – definitely not possible North of 50°.

I'd love to hear from readers about their shore excursion experiences. What was your best shore excursion while on a cruise? Any recommendations?

13 Days Before Embarkation - A Fair Deal

Yesterday - 14 days before embarkation - I spent cleaning out my office. No, I did not fire myself. I'm just moving to a new corner of the same office and I need to do this before I go on vacation.

Paperless offices will never happen. That was obvious as I went through years of accumulated paperwork – Letters to the Editor, story submissions, interview notes, mock-ups dating back to 2003. I recycled a dozen out-dated phone books, not including the fattest ones that raise my computer monitor up to an ergo-dynamic height.

By the time I decided to throw in the paper towel, it was 7 p.m., giving me just enough time to catch the last couple of hours at the Interior Provincial Exhibition. That may have been a tactical error. By the time I left the fair, I had purchased a new steam mop, a set of microfibre sheets, two bead necklaces, a chai tea latte and made arrangements to have one of my goats bred as soon as I get back from holidays.

Today – 13 days before embarkation – I woke early – and started playing with my new mop. Who knew a cleaning tool could be so much fun? I steamed the hardwood floors, the tub surrounds, a set of blinds – I LOVE this thing.

Now that the office is cleaned out, the house is spic and span, I can concentrate on packing.

16 Days Before Embarkation – Have ya Been to Sea, Billy? Nay, Captain Highliner. I've Been to the Fair.

I haven't blogged the past few days because, you could say, I've been on a shore excursion in Armstrong. If a cruise ship landed in Armstrong the first week of September, there'd only be one shore excursion – to the Interior Provincial Exhibition – and that is where I have been.

The fair grounds are like a gigantic cruise ship - just with a lot more dust and a lot less water. The only thing that remotely resembles the ocean is the “fishing” booth in the midway, where you can win a large stuffed frog if you manage to hook a plastic fish.

But, the entire midway is a bit like a ship's casino. Rotating lights, loud dinging noises – it's just like sitting near the slots. I feel confident that the odds of winning are much higher on the high seas.

Just like on a cruise ship, there's a huge selection of food, though the presentation and the table settings aren't nearly as elegant. I love the formality of dining on a cruise. I like getting “dressed up” for supper. At the fair, I wore the same jeans I wore while doing yard work this morning.

At the IPE, the Dodge Truck Stage, is always serving up entertainment – not as elaborate as the evening shows on a cruise ship, but entertaining, none the less.

The fair has an international flair, too, with exhibits and commercial displays from around the world. Specialty tea from South Africa. Handknit sweaters from Peru. Hawaiian shaved ice. Exotic birds and other animals. Sometimes, you don't have to leave home to see the world.

The fair lasts for five days because there really is that much to see and do.

And there will be plenty to see and do while I'm on vacation for 21 days, too. Have ya Been to Sea, Billy? Nay, Captain Highliner, but I'll soon be there.